


Things Harper's Family Doesn't Know

by Magnetism_bind



Category: Happiest Season (2020)
Genre: F/F, Falling In Love, Family Issues, Fear of Coming Out, First Kiss, Hopeful Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Introspection, Love at First Sight, Mistletoe, Moving In Together, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:21:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28242303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnetism_bind/pseuds/Magnetism_bind
Summary: There's a list of things that Harper's family doesn’t know and sometimes it feels like that list will never change no matter how much Harper wants it to.
Relationships: Harper Caldwell/Abby Holland
Comments: 8
Kudos: 92





	Things Harper's Family Doesn't Know

There's a list of things that Harper's family doesn’t know and sometimes it feels like that list will never change no matter how much Harper wants it to.

1) First on the list is the fact that Harper likes girls. Really likes girls. In middle school she used to think it was just a crush on a teacher and then she went through a phase where she just really wanted to listen to the Spice Girls all the time and then she wanted to help out in gym class because the gym teacher's assistant was a girl named Angela who had the prettiest shoulders Harper had ever seen. She hadn't even realized shoulders could be pretty until she saw Angela's in her tanktop, lining up the basketballs after class. 

And then there was Riley, of course. Riley with her snark and her private smiles meant just for Harper. But Harper still felt guilty over how that had gone. Riley still remained in the box of girls my parents don’t know I've even kissed, let alone gone down on.

* * *

  
2) Harper's family doesn't know that she met Abby at a Christmas party last year and it was the best night of her life. There had been mistletoe strategically hung over different parts of the apartment and Christmas music playing in the background and this girl with her blonde hair and skinny jeans had paused, looking at the food table with a speculative expression. 

Harper had noticed her right away of course. Her friend Lena, whom she had come with, had disappeared looking for drinks and this was Lena’s friend’s party so Harper hadn't known anyone there yet. And then she'd seen that girl.

The blonde turned and saw her. "Hi." 

"Hi." Harper said. "You might want to move."

"Why, am I blocking the egg rolls?" The girl looked back at the food table. 

"No." Harper gestured over her head.

The girl looked up. Her hair fell back, exposing her neck and Harper breathed a quiet sigh of a prayer to herself. Let the girl be single and let her be gay. She had to be, right? 

"Oh." The girl laughed. "Well, I could move." She paused and looked up at Harper, almost challengingly. "Or you could kiss me."

It was definitely a challenge.

"Okay." Harper said automatically. She said this for two reasons: one, she had grown up in a competitive home and she had never backed down from a single dare in her life. And two, she really really wanted to kiss her.

She leaned down, brushing her lips across the girl's mouth. And then before she knew it, the girl was touching her sweater, holding her by the arm as she kissed Harper back, drawing out the kiss until Harper no longer knew what day or month or year it was. All she knew was that the world simply melted away and the only thing that mattered was the girl’s soft lips on hers.

When they finally drew apart, her lips tingled, and her arm felt warm where the girl still held it.

"Wow." The girl said. "If that's what mistletoe does, I'm gonna have to get some for my apartment."

Harper laughed. 

The girl finally moved her hand away from Harper's arm. "Um...want some punch? I'm pretty sure there’s alcohol in it, knowing John."

"Sure." Harper followed her over to the table. 

"I'm Abby by the way." The girl (Abby) tucked her hair behind her right ear and smiled at her.

"Harper," said Harper. She was already a goner.

She snuck back later before she left that night and managed to snag the mistletoe that had been responsible for her kiss with Abby. It currently resided in a jewelry box in her underwear drawer.

* * *

  
3) Harper's parents don’t know that that before Harper left that party Abby's number was in her phone and she only waited till the next day before texting her a casual hey while waiting for the train to take her to her parents’ house for the holidays. Abby had responded quickly enough and every moment of that Christmas Harper was constantly aware of her phone in her pocket. Every time it buzzed it felt like a gift. She felt giddy, like she was high, which she hadn't been since the Fourth of July of last year when she'd gone to a fireworks display with a girl named Cassie. She'd wanted to like Cassie, who was pretty and funny and liked the rights bands, but the spark just wasn't there. She definitely hadn't cared if Cassie had texted her back after Harper had politely told her she had had a good time the night before. 

It wasn't like that, with Abby. Just a few words from her made Harper's whole body light up like she was made of sparks and tinder. At one point when she snuck off behind the Christmas tree to text in private, she had asked if she was interrupting Abby's holiday. 

I don't want your family to think I'm rude. Harper sent, wondering if Abby was out, if she was the sort of girl who had already told her parents she'd met someone, if she felt the same spark that Harper had. If, if, if.

No, it's cool, was all Abby responded but she kept the conversation going even if she didn't say anything more about her family right then. 

It wasn't until later, on their actual first date that she would tell Harper about her parents and how they had died, leaving her alone not just for the holidays but always.  
But before that was New Years.

* * *

  
4) Harper's family doesn't know that Harper went to a New Year's party with Abby and kissed her on a balcony under the falling snow and went home with her and slept with her in her tiny bed and woke up on New Year’s Day with no hangover for the first time since she was old enough to drink, and a heart full of emotions she was starting to be slightly scared of feeling.

After Christmas Harper had so casually asked if Abby simply wanted to get a coffee sometime. She could play it cool, but Abby had been busy with work and then when she was free, Harper had had to stay late at the office and then somehow it was New Year's Eve by the time they officially went out.

Is this a weird first date?

If it is, it's too late now. 

The party was at Taylor's house, who was a friend of a friend of an ex, Abby explained. They hadn't kissed again at that point though Harper was dying to kiss her and from the way Abby kept glancing at her mouth and then looking away, she was pretty sure Abby was thinking the same thing.

They got champagne and mingled, and when Taylor made a toast about the New Year, they were standing next to each other and Abby's fingers brushed hers and Harper thought she was going to fucking die.

Finally, at one point Abby was in conversation with some friends and Harper grabbed another champagne and went out on the balcony. She regretted it immediately because it was cold and snowing but at the same time she didn't know how much longer she could stand being so close to Abby and yet not touching her.

The door opened behind her and Harper turned to see Abby there.

"Hey, wondered where you were." Abby came out, rubbing her arms, looking up at the night sky. "You know it's freezing out here, right? And snowing?"

"I know." Harper said absently. Abby's hair looked like pure silver under the moonlight and Harper ached to touch it. She wanted to run her fingers through it, simply to touch her. She could die happy if she could only touch Abby once more.

"You're shivering." Abby said softly, moving closer. 

"Mmm." Harper said. She finished her champagne, set the glass down on the railing. "That didn't warm me up." She admitted.

"No?" Abby said, and grinned. "Maybe this will." She leaned up, putting one hand on Harper's hip as she did and kissed her.

It was all the permission Harper needed.

With a soft moan she put her arms around Abby, pushing her up against the brick wall of the building. Abby wrapped a leg around her, drawing her closer, one hand on Harper's back, the other on her butt. Harper's hand finally curled through Abby's hair and she sighed with pleasure.

Abby drew off with a gasp. "Umm...do you wanna come back to my place?"

"Yes." Harper said, breathless and happy and terrified all at once. 

* * *

5) Harper's family doesn't know that after that the first night together, waking up on New Year’s with Abby sleeping curled against her, somehow Harper knew it was the only place she ever wanted to be. The way Abby felt next to her felt so right Harper didn't want to breathe for fear of waking her. 

That Abby woken finally and looked up into her eyes, smiling at her. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Harper whispered. Suddenly self-conscious she looked around. "Um, do you have any coffee?"

"Oh yeah. Of course." Abby slipped out of bed, wearing just her t-shirt and panties. Harper couldn't take her eyes off her as she went into the kitchen. Self-consciously she reached for her jeans and pulled them on, following Abby into her tiny kitchen.

"Sorry there isn't a lot of space." Abby apologized. "I need to move, but I've been too busy to look for a place."

"It's fine." Harper stood self-consciously in the doorway, watching as Abby got mugs out of the cupboard. She set them on the counter and then turned back to Harper, brushing her hair back behind her ears.

"So." Abby began, and at the same time Harper said, "I-."

They both laughed and the nervousness in Harper's stomach started to ease.

"You first." Harper said graciously. Maybe it would give her heart time to calm down. 

"So what I was going to say," Abby grinned, "Is that I had a really good time last night, and I would like to see you again. If you'd be interested, of course. No pressure."

"I'd like to too." Harper said softly. And then before she could second guess herself, she crossed the tiny kitchen and tentatively touched Abby's face. “Is this okay?"

'Yeah." Abby breathed and Harper leaned down to kiss her, pressing her up against the kitchen counter. 

There was a hitch in Abby's breath as her hands settled on Harper's hips, pulling her close. "Can I see you again soon?”

"How soon?" Harper murmured her lips.

"Tonight?" Abby grinned and Harper just had to laugh.

* * *

  
6) Harper's family doesn’t know that Harper managed to wait six months before asking Abby to move in with her, because she didn't want to be that lesbian, but she would have asked her after three, or even one, or even that very first night together. That it just made sense cause Abby was already spending most of her nights there, (Harper’s apartment being bigger than Abby’s) waking up in Harper's bed every morning, her arms around Harper. Having her there made every day start better and the nights when Harper woke worrying about her job and the future and what her parents would say, the sound of Abby sleeping there in the dark made everything fade away into the stillness. 

They drank coffee together in the mornings and made waffles on the weekends and on the nights when Harper ended up working late, she'd come home to find Abby curled up in bed, reading but awake, waiting for her. 

Harper had always liked her apartment, but with Abby there, it became something she hadn't thought of having for herself in a long time: a home.

* * *

7) Harper's family doesn't know that the whole summer was beautiful, and they'd spent it together having picnics in the park and drinking wine on the roof and dancing at the little corner bar which had a jukebox that Abby was obsessed with and sleeping in late on the weekends, John's standing brunch invitation notwithstanding.

That they'd gone to Pride together and it was the first time Harper felt like she actually belonged in a crowd with other people, and Abby's hand was in hers the whole time as they watched the parade and Harper never wanted to let go.

They don't know all of this was why Harper impulsively asked Abby to come home with her for Christmas, because she wanted it to be that good again. She wanted Abby on Christmas morning. She wanted her every holiday and every day in-between. Abby was perfect and now that Harper had her in her life, she didn't want to go a day without her. But beyond that, she wanted to share Christmas with Abby. She wanted to make new memories with her to treasure forever, holding her close under the twinkling Christmas lights and walking in the snow, hand in hand, showing her how the stars looked in the sky over her parent's house when you climbed out on the roof and gazed at them after midnight. 

That was all Harper wanted for Christmas and for a moment she thought she could actually have it. 

Now, as she drove along the dark wintry road to catch up up with Abby and John before they left for good, all she knew was she had to try. She had one more chance to tell Abby just how much she loved her and she wasn't going to waste it.


End file.
